Resolutions (or stuff I should already be doing).

A new year is coming up... I guess that means resolutions are in order.  Theoretically, you could say this is a bit preemptive, since it's still 2007; but who really cares?

My goal for 2008: Action.

- How many times do I say "I should..." instead of "I will?"

- How often do I contemplate God's will for my life... sitting stagnant, instead of taking action?

- When was the last time I cancelled all of my plans just to pray?

- When was the last time I cashed my paycheck and eagerly gave God 10%?

- What about the last time that I decided to actively make a difference?

- Who was the last person I truly ministered to?

- When was the last time my heart was heavy for those who could not fight?

- When was the last time I didn't compromise?

- When was the last time I made a resolution and stuck with it?

If I spent as much time taking action as I did thinking about it... man, that'd be a sight to see.

Here's to 2008.

Here's to action.

Here's to a life worth living.

"Do not pray for easy lives.

Pray to be stronger men.

Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. 

Pray for powers equal to your tasks.

Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle; but you shall be the miracle."

-Phillips Brooks.

3:30 A.M.

Hi.
It's been a while. I'll blog something more meaningful one of these days, I swear. For now though, a simple, mediocre update is going to suffice.


Some things I've noticed/realized lately (NOTE: They are very random, as it is 3:30 AM):
- Music sucks. It's hard and time-consuming; BUT... I like it, so that's alright.
- I'm starting to become relatively responsible. It's wierd.
- I've gained 20 lbs in the last year. What the crap? Time to start lifting/running again.
- I've been studying bass at a college level for a year and I still suck. Lame.
- I <3> Jesus. I may stray... I may fall; but I will ALWAYS rise, dust off my feet and keep running.
- My dad is the most amazing person to ever walk the face of the Earth. Well... apart from Jesus.
- The screen on my cellphone decided to stop working. This means that I can't tell when I've missed calls, or read text messages. I'm actually OK with that.
- I'm blessed in countless ways. No, really.
- I'm not in a band. Surprisingly, I like that.
- I take a lot of things for granted. I'm trying not to as much as possible.
- I'm technically an "adult," but I have yet to actually feel like one. Lame.
- There's a possibility of me going on tour in Spain next year. Awesome.
- I've developed a love for gospel music. Blame Soulful Prayze.
- I'm going to start studying ASL in the fall. Words can't explain how excited I am about this.
- Fred Hammond's song "You Are The Living Word" is changing my life right now.
- I miss the ocean. Not because it's currently winter; but because it's smell makes me feel at home. Just thinking about it makes me smile.
- I don't talk to the people I love often enough. That saddens me.
- I'm learning a Bach piece on bass. It's crazy hard (and crazy awesome).
- People are starving. I'm looking for a new car. That's not right.
- People are going to hell... ugh... people are going to hell... Lord, how my soul aches for them...
- People are going to HELL... I can't get that out of my head...

Life is truly precious; and is nothing but the blink of an eye.
Sadly, I was reminded of this today.


New John Mayer tune is tight. I can't place my finger on why; but it's stuck in my head.

"Take all of your wasted honor.
Every little past frustration.
Take all of your so called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations.

Say what you need to say...

Walkin' like a one man army,
Fightin' with the shadows in your head.
Livin' up the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead

If you could only...
Say what you need to say...

Have no fear for givin' in.
Have no fear for giving over.
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much,
Than never to say what you need to say again.

Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin',
Do it with a heart wide open.

Say what you need to say."

Music.

Music I currently can't get enough of:

Moses Mayfield.
Radiohead.
Marc Broussard.
Robbie Seay Band
Hillsong London.
Jeff Deyo.
Fono.
The Rocket Summer.
David Crowder.
Lifehouse.
Muse.
Scary Kids Scaring Kids.
Shiny Toy Guns.
Impel.
Fee.
We The Living.
Sting.
Tal Wilkenfeld.
U2.
Oz Noy.
Alter Bridge.
Maylene & the Sons of Disaster.

Out of Sync.

The other day, I plugged in my iPod to (A) charge it and to (B) put new music on it. I plugged the cable into my computer, and then into my iPod... let iTunes come up and then I read across "Syncing iPod, do not disconnect."

Yes, this happens every time I plug my iPod in. It's not out of the ordinary; but I realized something.

I'm out of sync.

Out of sync with God.
Out of sync with life.
Out of sync with, well... everything.

I'm merely existing. I'm sick of it.
I look at myself and where I am in life... in God... and I get discouraged. Because I'm not at the level I want to be. Because "I'm not good enough." But then again, I never should be "good enough."

Ugh... axoughaslfn;v.,xcnbopurt[hwgnasdxcnborwogasdf. I don't know.

I need to plug in, recharge, get something new, and get back to living.

Living > Existing

"A Sacrifice of Praise"

Hebrews 13:15
"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name."

"A Sacrifice of Praise." Sit for a second. Ponder that phrase. Think about what it's implying. Our praise, our worship should cost us something. It shouldn't necessarily, or easy for that matter. It's a sacrifice.

When was the last time I praised God sacrificially? The last time my worship actually cost me something? The last time I pushed my comfort zone? Honestly... if our praise is supposed to be sacrificial, why do we let it become routine? You know, pushed beyond the "raise your hands during the chorus, kneel during We Fall Down" type of cookie-cutter worship the church has become accustomed to.

So what do you sacrifice? How do you praise, or worship? How do you praise sacrificially?

"Enjoy [life] as it unfolds to you. Think the best, unfold, let go, surrender. If you want it, it'll happen. Just surreneder and let go. It has nothing to do with you. None of us have any power. We are all totally powerless... that's the great comfort."

- Sir Anthony Hopkins.

Jesus, Rose of Sharon

I bought an old hymnal today. I've just been really into old hymns lately. They just seem so... pure, so... true. Anyway, this song just really stuck out to me. Figured I'd share it:

"Jesus, Rose of Sharon, bloom within my heart;
Beauties of Thy truth and holiness impart,
That wherever I go my life may shed abroad
Fragrance of the knowledge of the love of God.

Jesus Rose of Sharon,
Bloom in radiance and in love love within my heart.

Jesus, Rose of Sharon, sweeter far to me
Than the fairest flowers of earth could ever be,
Fill my life completely, adding more each day
Of Thy grace divine and purity, I pray.

Jesus Rose of Sharon,
Bloom in radiance and in love love within my heart.

Jesus, Rose of Sharon, balm for every ill,
May Thy tender mercy's healing power distill
For afflicted souls of weary, burdened men,
Giving needy mortals health and hope again.

Jesus Rose of Sharon,
Bloom in radiance and in love love within my heart.

Jesus, Rose of Sharon, bloom for evermore;
Be Thy glory seen on earth from shore to shore,
Till the nations own Thy Sovreignty complete,
Lay their honors down and worship at Thy feet.

Jesus Rose of Sharon,
Bloom in radiance and in love love within my heart..."

This and That.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. Mostly things involving music and ministry. I went to a concert tonight and, well... it all came together.

I've come to the conclusion that musicians... bands have to make a decision at some point in their careers. Should this be a career... or a ministry? Most bands today seem to say "this" and do "that."

There are so many up-and-coming artists in the CMI that started out with the goal of a career... but tagged on "ministry" to get into more churches, more camps, more youth groups, etc. They do "that." They're the deceivers... the fakers... the false. They're the ones that use the Christian music scene as a means to play music for a living. To "make it." The ministry is a sideshow. Their end goal is to get signed, play music, get paid... the ministry isn't something they really care about; but it helps them sell albums. Their lifestyles don't match up with what they sing (or preach) about. They're doing it for their own glory, saying it's for God's.

However, there are those that actually do "this." They're the ones who just say "I'm doing music because I enjoy it." Perhaps they are called to be a musician and minister through music. Yes, they want lives to be affected by what they do. No, they're not advertising that fact. They don't use their faith as a selling tool. They do music to do music. They don't have alterior motives. They're honest. They're the bands that you know are Christians; but they don't run around screaming "I LOVE JESUS!!!!!" You know they love Jesus by the way they act... their words... their heart.


Maybe I'm way out in left field; but I call it like I see it.


So often, I find myself looking for a way to make that "perfect mesh" of the two. To somehow incorporate all of my musical aspirations into my life, ministering to others along the way. I've deceived myself and others. My music, as much as I want it to be, is not my ministry.

My life is.



Music is just a part of my life. A part... not a whole.


(I apologize if this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. It's 4 AM. cut me some slack).

"The best gift you could offer anybody is your honest self, and thats what I've done for years. And thanks for accepting me exactly as I am."

- Fred Rogers

Thoughts.

I've been thinking about life... music... God... ministry... and in general, a lot of "stuff."

I used to have a list of things I wanted to do in life. Over the last year... six months... month... 2 weeks... those things have changed dramatically. I've gone from questioning... to unsure... to doubting... to acceptance; and now... peace.

Talking with someone this past week brought up a thought. If you think God has called to do something with your life and you run from it... He's gonna get you. You're going to do it (most likely). I'd like to say that I'm 100 percent certain about every step of my life; but the fact of the matter is - I don't know what I'll end up doing. No matter how much thought, effort, or passion I might put into it. Steps of faith are the stepping stones of life. I just need to take one after another. Consistently and consecutively.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God..."

Colossians 1:9-14

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[d] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

Ephesians 1:13-14

"Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit..."



"Marked with a seal." It's cool to think of the different seals there must have been in the olden times. Pretty much everyone of importance had a ring that they would use to stamp a wax seal on important documents. It was unique to them. It was their own mark. People could blatantly see who the owner/originator was. Seals eventually evolved into the branding iron. Ranchers would brand their cattle and their livestock symbolizing their ownership. If they were to get lost, people would know who they belong to. They could be brought back. Or, if the rancher was abitious, they could seek out what was theirs. It was a way to rightfully claim what was yours.

According to this passage, we're marked in Him with a seal. We belong to God.

Should the same principles apply with this Heavenly seal? Should people be able to see that we are God's? That we are Christians? If we are lost... who returns us to our owner? Or are we drawn back?

Over the last week, my roommates and I have somehow lost 4 remote controls for the TV. We bought one - and lost it within two days. We bought another - and lost it within 4 hours. I found two remotes at home, brought them back and well... you get it. When we lost the remotes, we looked everywhere we possibly could... tore stuff apart. Flipped the room upside down. We were determined to find the remotes. Anyway...

It got me thinking again. When people fall away from God... how does He react? How does He feel? Is it the same as we feel when we lose something that's important?



"...Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory."

"What is worse - to be honest with yourself while you are dishonest with the world, or to be dishonest with the world because you have deceived yourself?"

- Reinhold Niebuhr

Think.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my definition of a Christian... of a disciple. My thoughts can't help but go back to El Salvador three years ago, on the last night of our missions trip. Don Triplett said something that will probably stick with me for as long as I live: "Only disciples make it to heaven." Now, without getting into logistics, viewpoints, and all that rubbish - think about it.

The Great Commission says it all: "Make disciples... of all nations..."

I so often see people who pray a prayer... believe in Jesus... and that's "enough." They're going to heaven. They have the mentality of "I believe in Jesus, so I'm going to heaven. I can drink... smoke... do whatever I want. As long as I believe God exists..." That doesn't seem right at all.

Look at Jesus, and the 12 disciples... He called each one individually. They stopped what they were doing... everything... they started a new life. They were no longer tax collectors, fishermen, doctors, whatever they did... they became disciples. They followed Jesus. That was it.

I just looked up the definition for the word "discipleship" in the dictionary. It's a noun. That's wrong - I think it should be a verb... Think about it.

I want to be less of a Christian (noun)and more of a Disciple (verb).

?

Last night was crazy.
I've slept maybe 5 hours in the last 3 or 4 days.
That's not healthy.

Through everything, I find God at the center of it all.
Amazing. Glorious. Healing. Father.

I feel change all around me.
I feel it coming...

Healer.

Clarification.

A number of people either didn't like or didn't agree with my last blog. Oh well. Let me explain myself.

As a musician... I see and hear a lot of things. There is a lot of deception and dishonesty that goes on in the music industry; and yes, I'm talking about the "Christian" industry. It's disheartening. I've experienced it firsthand in a few different instances. I've talked with several artists, and they've done nothing but confirm this. That being said... there are artists that I have simply lost respect for. People I used to look to for inspiration. People who were, essentially, my role models. Now, they still inspire me... they inspire me to be genuine... real... honest. To be, for lack of a better word, better.

Every band I've played in has started as a ministry. Then it plays a show or two. Once money starts coming in, and exchanging hands, things change. It slowly becomes a business (that wants to do ministry). God is placed on the backburner, but they're still a "Christian" band. The more and more I get involved with music... the more this veil of industry and business is lifted from my eyes...

In my opinion, "Christian" music today has become bland. We're called to be the salt of the earth. The "true salt" these days seems to be few and far between. That being said, I'm consistently inspired by artists like Jeff Deyo - for being raw, Robbie Seay - for being real, Switchfoot - for being genuine, Shawn McDonald - for his humility, and Shane & Shane - for their undeniable passion.

I'm off to play some bass now... more later?

direction?

Music.
greed. slander. deceit. obscene. misleading. image-driven. idols. fake. lies.

Ministry.
passion. love. truth. purity. redemption. purpose. calling. real. Christ. trust. faith.


...seems like a no-brainer to me.

Melancholy.

Psalm 43

1 Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.
2 You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?
3 Send forth your light and your truth,
let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.
4 Then will I go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God.
5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.


Life has been crazy lately. High hopes and expectations... met with disappointment. Dreams... stopped by walls. Plans... interrupted... and I'm OK with that. I wasn't at first; but who am I to question God?

...Who am I?

I tend to get ahead of myself in many ways. For instance, I'd planned for certain things over the next few months... they're no more. I'd planned for things in the spring... they're no more. Several years ago, I had a plan of where I wanted to be at this point of my life. I'm not there. Plans don't mean anthing... unless they're God's. God... let my plans be Yours. Let Your will be mine. Let my life shine You. May I not live for anything but Your glory and Your name. May my words... my actions be Yours... Rid me of myself...


The song "Healer" by Planetshakers is amazing. I heard/played it for the first time last night. The story behind it is amazing. The message it sends is beautiful. I cried.


Anyway... I've been working with some new arrangements of some hymns. They're really cool, if I can say so myself. A few might get recorded... I hope they get recorded. It's been something I've wanted to do for a while now. Ever since I found my grandma's folder of music... full of songs she wrote... songs she loved... songs that moved her...

I never even met her. If I had, I'm sure we would have had some great discussions; and one day we will...

I can't wait.

Facts.

Life Update. I’ll spare the in-between "creative-ness" and give you the facts:

- I’m (still) going to North Central.
- As of now, I’m still a music major.
- That will either change to psychology or youth ministry...
- It will probably result in me double majoring.
- I’m playing in a band called My Present Leave (www.mypresentleave.com)
- I’ve decided to start playing more acoustic guitar… possibly some electric.
- That is going to spawn off in a new direction.
- Tonight’s mandatory floor meeting included a gauntlet. Blood literally was shed.
- I have awesome roommates. We have roommate bedtime. It’s cute.
- I need to truly fall in love with God again… or fall in love with Him all over again…
- Awesome things are happening.
- I’m stoked.
- I think “horizon” is my new favorite word.

Out.

New.

I'm packing up my things, and getting ready to go back to school. The summer is, in all respects, over. I've changed direction multiple times over the last 3 months. I wasn't planning on going back. Yet here I am... preparing to do just that.

The last few months have been full of opportunities and decisions. It's been hard... really hard. I could have been set. Had a career. Been somebody But...

No.

I'm going in another direction... one that excites me... one that brings a smile to my face. God is freaking amazing. I love Him more and more each day. He's leading me down a new path. I don't know where the final destination is; but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ambitions?

Exhausted. This is how I feel right now. I’m in Cameron, WI, staying at a stranger’s house. OK, his name is Ben… and I’ve known him for half an hour. But I digress…

I’m exhausted. I’m not burnt out… but I can almost feel it coming. I’m playing bass more and more lately – yet there’s nothing gained (except pride). That’s not what I really want. Sure, the attention is great; but it only feeds my flesh. I want to be a great bassist. It’d be awesome to “be somebody.” Maybe that’s not my calling though. Looking at my past, I see some of the amazing opportunities that I’ve had… and had to let pass me by. It wasn’t easy then, and it’s only getting harder. Is it God telling me to focus elsewhere? Or is He telling me that my time will come? Or is it perhaps both?

I’m exhausted. I feel I’ve been chasing my own selfish ambitions… or are they God's ambitions? Am I crying out from the belly of the whale? Or am I on the path God intends me to walk? Or is it something simple... like doubt? These are my thoughts... from Cameron, Wisconsin.

"I Need."

I need rest.
Scratch that... I want rest.

I need it to be easy.
Scratch that... I want it to be easy.

I need answers...
Scratch that... I want answers... now.

One thing is for sure: I need God.

Dream.

Dear self:

Dream big.
Put those dreams into motion.
If you don't, you'll be caught dreaming about what "could have been."
As opposed to "what's next?"

Love,
Me

(Untitled)

So.
I've been really focused on what to do over this next year. I don't know much, but I know that this next year is going to be about growth and change for me.

Growth. Spriritually, and physically. I'm preparing myself for something. I don't know what. I just know that I need to be stronger than I've ever been before. Spiritually. Physically. Emotionally...

Change. I've recently come to grips with the fact that I'm most likely going to be making a directional change in my life. I'm relatively nervous, because well... I don't know what that means yet. People have asked me if I'm going to give up music... or bass... I'm not. I'm going to keep doing it. Keep seeking God. Keep doing life. Keep loving. Keeping it real.

Starting Monday, I'm going to fast. I'd originally planned on a 21-day fast; but after doing some research, I found that'd be a bad idea. So 8 days it is. I've started to learn/understand how important fasting can be. I'm going to try and make it a regular thing further down the road. This is a start.


On a completely different note. This month is going to be intense. I'm going to be playing bass in Illinois, Ohio, Conneticut, Wisconsin, and possibly Texas. To top it all off... I'm trying to plan a trip to the west coast to visit some people. I'm excited. I'm not sure if everything will pan out perfectly; but only time will tell. I love traveling...

Trust.

I've been thinking a lot about trust lately. Over the last few months, yes; but especially over the last few days. It might have something to do with the last two sermons here at Lake Geneva being about that... Trust. But I'm been thinking about trust and faith together.

I've been asking myself this question for some time now and, in all honesty, I don't have an answer. By all means, I should; but it's something I struggle with.

Would I honestly give up all of my personal hopes... dreams... ambitions... to go work in some foreign country. To preach. Or just live in a place serving people for God's glory. Yeah, at first most everyone would say yes. No. Saying you will and actually doing it are completely separate. "Actions speak louder than words."

God, I pray that I can live up to the plans You have in store for me.
My trust, my faith lies withing You.
May my actions, may my steps show it.

Quote.

"On a normal day, I pray for an hour in the morning. On a busy day when I know I am going to need the Lord, I pray for 2 hours."
- Martin Luther

This quote has so much depth, and so much truth. I've made the excuse a thousand times: "I don't have time to read my Bible... I don't have time to pray..." In all honesty, everything else should come second. Martin Luther had it right - in the 1500s. Here I am sitting 500 years in the future, on a computer... in an air-conditioned house... with running water... food in the refrigerator... We have all of these "time saving" inventions these days; but we often still fail to take time out for God. Not even a minute. I know there's not a single person in the world that cannot spare minute... even ten minutes out of their day. Maybe it's because so many people have these messed up views of what time with God really is...

They feel obligated. It's viewed as a chore. No. I think praying and reading your Bible is something that needs to be desired. Maybe you don't have a desire to read your Bible; but do you have a desire to get closer to God? If you don't have a desire to pray... how are you going to talk with Him, and develop a true, meaningful relationship with the King?

Psalm 37:4

Yeah... it should sound familiar.

$15 Billion.

What would you do with $15 billion?

I came across this article, by chance, today. It talks about bottled water... the production costs, quality, and how much Americans spend on bottled water. Guess how much we spend.

Yep. $15 billion. Absurd.

Before I go on, let me clarify that I drink bottled water on occasion. In fact, I drink it frequently; But I read a statistic recently. I can't account for its accuracy, but it stated that the cost of curbing world hunger was around $19 billion (and that US citizens also spend about $18 billion on makeup). So... if we cut down on bottled water and makeup...?

Links:
Star Tribune
FastCompany.com

This is one of those days that I realize just how absurd we Americans are sometimes. People are starving. We're arguing about the cost of gas. Disgusting.

Action.

Lately I've been caught up in planning for the future. Deciding, once again, what to do for school. Trying to figure out what exactly my future entails. I've been so focused on what I feel God is calling me to do, yet I still doubt. I'm torn between several outcomes.

This morning, I was reading in James (which happens to be one of my favorite books of the Bible). There's a point, in the second chapter, where the author talks about faith action. More or less, it comes down to saying "Faith without action... is dead."

It got me thinking. I've been focusing so much on the long term... the big picture. I've been sitting in this relatively stationary position. I just need to... move. Do. Something. God will direct me. I just need to make the first step. He'll make the path straight.

Maybe we, as Christians, get so caught up in the will of God that we forget one "minor" detail: It's going to be done. You might run from it. You might hide from it. But you'll never truly escape the will of God. So take that leap, step, jump of faith. He'll do the rest.





I love Lincoln Brewster right now.
"Everybody, everybody, everybody praise the Lord..."

Babble.

The perfectionist in me is what holds me back.
The doubts. The fears. These are my demons.
My calling. My desire. These are my dreams.
My trust. It's what keeps me sane.

Video.

Reject Yourself.

Killswitch Engage is one of my favorite bands ever. Even though none of the members (to my knowledge) are Christians, all of their lyrics seem to have strong spiritual overtones. These are the lyrics from a song of their new CD As Daylight Dies. It's called "Reject Yourself."

their cries are blown away with the wind.
how passive can we be before humanity is lost?
turning our backs on those who need love.

we must not rest while healing is needed.
tear down the veil that bars your heart from feeling this.
dedicate yourself.

give your souls to compassion.
with open arms embrace this heart.
with open eyes behold the truth.
embrace this life.
so little time is left.

we must be relentless in our pursiut of those in torment.
tear down the veil that bars your heart from feeling this.
dedicate yourself.

become the voice of compassion.
with open arms embrace this heart.
with open eyes behold the truth.
embrace this life.

can you reject yourself?
can you feel their agony?
in a world that feels on disregard.
heal the broken hearted.

Afternoon Delight.

This verse has applied itself to my life so many times, in so many ways. Every time I doubt. Every time I question. Every time I fear... God brings it back to me. Someway... somehow...

Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Rice Lake, WI and other nonsense.

This last weekend, I found myself in Rice Lake. It's what some call a small town (8,000 or so). I traveled there with the band I'm currently playing with, BRAZENaltar (www.brazenaltar.com).

The trip, as a whole, was amazing. My favorite moment of the weekend was during our encore. Before I go on, let me make a disclaimer: I hate encores. I hate what they represent because, for the most part, they're for self-glorification and that's not why I do music. Anyway... on with it. The first encore I've ever done (or at least remembered). We finished the set and people wanted more. So... We pulled one song out of nowhere - I'd never heard it, much less played it. Then, out of nowhere, we started playing some worship tunes. Everything shifted. The mood. The feel. The heart.

I think it was one of the most defining points of my life. Singing/playing/screaming God's adoration... with a band I've known for a week... with a group absolute strangers... in the middle of nowhere. I felt God more than I have in a long time. It was/is indescribable.

Sunday morning was amazing as well. We started off the service with some worship songs, RT brought the word, and again... it happened... God rocked the house. I'm not talking about the music, I'm talking about revival. Bonds broken, hearts restored, Holy Spirit revival. Again, hard to put in words; but God is like that... and I freaking love it.

I was reading in Psalms and then came to Psalm 86. It's basically the epitome of what I've needed to read over the last few months.

"Hear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant
who trusts in you.
Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
Bring joy to your servant,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul.
You are forgiving and good, O Lord,
abounding in love to all who call to you.
Hear my prayer, O LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.
In the day of my trouble I will call to you,
for you will answer me.
Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord;
no deeds can compare with yours.
All the nations you have made
will come and worship before you, O Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.
For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.
Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.
The arrogant are attacking me, O God;
a band of ruthless men seeks my life—
men without regard for you.
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
Turn to me and have mercy on me;
grant your strength to your servant
and save the son of your maidservant.
Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me."

God is good. All the time.

Blog. Or... wait a minute... what?!

I've decided to enter this world of blogging insanity.

Again... Kind of.