Ambitions?

Exhausted. This is how I feel right now. I’m in Cameron, WI, staying at a stranger’s house. OK, his name is Ben… and I’ve known him for half an hour. But I digress…

I’m exhausted. I’m not burnt out… but I can almost feel it coming. I’m playing bass more and more lately – yet there’s nothing gained (except pride). That’s not what I really want. Sure, the attention is great; but it only feeds my flesh. I want to be a great bassist. It’d be awesome to “be somebody.” Maybe that’s not my calling though. Looking at my past, I see some of the amazing opportunities that I’ve had… and had to let pass me by. It wasn’t easy then, and it’s only getting harder. Is it God telling me to focus elsewhere? Or is He telling me that my time will come? Or is it perhaps both?

I’m exhausted. I feel I’ve been chasing my own selfish ambitions… or are they God's ambitions? Am I crying out from the belly of the whale? Or am I on the path God intends me to walk? Or is it something simple... like doubt? These are my thoughts... from Cameron, Wisconsin.