Facts.

Life Update. I’ll spare the in-between "creative-ness" and give you the facts:

- I’m (still) going to North Central.
- As of now, I’m still a music major.
- That will either change to psychology or youth ministry...
- It will probably result in me double majoring.
- I’m playing in a band called My Present Leave (www.mypresentleave.com)
- I’ve decided to start playing more acoustic guitar… possibly some electric.
- That is going to spawn off in a new direction.
- Tonight’s mandatory floor meeting included a gauntlet. Blood literally was shed.
- I have awesome roommates. We have roommate bedtime. It’s cute.
- I need to truly fall in love with God again… or fall in love with Him all over again…
- Awesome things are happening.
- I’m stoked.
- I think “horizon” is my new favorite word.

Out.

New.

I'm packing up my things, and getting ready to go back to school. The summer is, in all respects, over. I've changed direction multiple times over the last 3 months. I wasn't planning on going back. Yet here I am... preparing to do just that.

The last few months have been full of opportunities and decisions. It's been hard... really hard. I could have been set. Had a career. Been somebody But...

No.

I'm going in another direction... one that excites me... one that brings a smile to my face. God is freaking amazing. I love Him more and more each day. He's leading me down a new path. I don't know where the final destination is; but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ambitions?

Exhausted. This is how I feel right now. I’m in Cameron, WI, staying at a stranger’s house. OK, his name is Ben… and I’ve known him for half an hour. But I digress…

I’m exhausted. I’m not burnt out… but I can almost feel it coming. I’m playing bass more and more lately – yet there’s nothing gained (except pride). That’s not what I really want. Sure, the attention is great; but it only feeds my flesh. I want to be a great bassist. It’d be awesome to “be somebody.” Maybe that’s not my calling though. Looking at my past, I see some of the amazing opportunities that I’ve had… and had to let pass me by. It wasn’t easy then, and it’s only getting harder. Is it God telling me to focus elsewhere? Or is He telling me that my time will come? Or is it perhaps both?

I’m exhausted. I feel I’ve been chasing my own selfish ambitions… or are they God's ambitions? Am I crying out from the belly of the whale? Or am I on the path God intends me to walk? Or is it something simple... like doubt? These are my thoughts... from Cameron, Wisconsin.

"I Need."

I need rest.
Scratch that... I want rest.

I need it to be easy.
Scratch that... I want it to be easy.

I need answers...
Scratch that... I want answers... now.

One thing is for sure: I need God.

Dream.

Dear self:

Dream big.
Put those dreams into motion.
If you don't, you'll be caught dreaming about what "could have been."
As opposed to "what's next?"

Love,
Me

(Untitled)

So.
I've been really focused on what to do over this next year. I don't know much, but I know that this next year is going to be about growth and change for me.

Growth. Spriritually, and physically. I'm preparing myself for something. I don't know what. I just know that I need to be stronger than I've ever been before. Spiritually. Physically. Emotionally...

Change. I've recently come to grips with the fact that I'm most likely going to be making a directional change in my life. I'm relatively nervous, because well... I don't know what that means yet. People have asked me if I'm going to give up music... or bass... I'm not. I'm going to keep doing it. Keep seeking God. Keep doing life. Keep loving. Keeping it real.

Starting Monday, I'm going to fast. I'd originally planned on a 21-day fast; but after doing some research, I found that'd be a bad idea. So 8 days it is. I've started to learn/understand how important fasting can be. I'm going to try and make it a regular thing further down the road. This is a start.


On a completely different note. This month is going to be intense. I'm going to be playing bass in Illinois, Ohio, Conneticut, Wisconsin, and possibly Texas. To top it all off... I'm trying to plan a trip to the west coast to visit some people. I'm excited. I'm not sure if everything will pan out perfectly; but only time will tell. I love traveling...