Melancholy.

Psalm 43

1 Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.
2 You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?
3 Send forth your light and your truth,
let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.
4 Then will I go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God.
5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.


Life has been crazy lately. High hopes and expectations... met with disappointment. Dreams... stopped by walls. Plans... interrupted... and I'm OK with that. I wasn't at first; but who am I to question God?

...Who am I?

I tend to get ahead of myself in many ways. For instance, I'd planned for certain things over the next few months... they're no more. I'd planned for things in the spring... they're no more. Several years ago, I had a plan of where I wanted to be at this point of my life. I'm not there. Plans don't mean anthing... unless they're God's. God... let my plans be Yours. Let Your will be mine. Let my life shine You. May I not live for anything but Your glory and Your name. May my words... my actions be Yours... Rid me of myself...


The song "Healer" by Planetshakers is amazing. I heard/played it for the first time last night. The story behind it is amazing. The message it sends is beautiful. I cried.


Anyway... I've been working with some new arrangements of some hymns. They're really cool, if I can say so myself. A few might get recorded... I hope they get recorded. It's been something I've wanted to do for a while now. Ever since I found my grandma's folder of music... full of songs she wrote... songs she loved... songs that moved her...

I never even met her. If I had, I'm sure we would have had some great discussions; and one day we will...

I can't wait.