School. Life. God.

School.

I’m starting to become one of “those guys.” I’m not necessarily sick of North Central, and I definitely don’t hate it. However, I keep on thinking that it might not be the place for me.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve always wanted to go to Berklee. I’m thinking about it more and more. If not Berklee, maybe another dedicated music school. It’s a lot to think about. Regardless, I want to finish up my Biblical Studies minor before I do anything else. It’s important to me.

Life.

I pretty much just want to do it. I just want to get a place that’s “mine.” Get settled, and live. I still feel like a kid half of the time. I guess I kind of am – 19 isn’t all that old. However, this whole dorm thing is really getting to me. I can’t cook. I can’t go to bed early (or get up early, for that matter) without irritating someone. However, I can’t live off campus until I’m 21.

I’d love to get a job, or start some kind of a career. But I have to finish school first. Bum deal.

God.

I need to constantly be seeking His face… His will… Him. Oddly enough, I find it harder and harder to do this at North Central. I shouldn’t. I can’t explain it. I feel like I can get so caught up in going to chapel, church, etc that I forget to spend my personal time with God.

God and I should be like close friends. I should want to call Him daily, and tell him what’s up. I should go to Him for advice. Just… spend time with Him.

Right now, I suck at that. I suck at a lot of things; but this is the one that I care about the most.


On another note, my thoughts about today thus far:

I officially hate Minnesota.
I woke up at 6:30 this morning to go running.
It was a great idea; but a horrible action.
It was icy (hence, it was slippery).
I couldn’t feel my face.
It sucked.

Juxtaposition.

Do I feel adequate? No.
Do I think I'm ready? No.
Am I scared out of my wits? Yes.
Am I passionate about this? Yes.
Is this something I know I should do? Yes.

More when it's "official."
For now, I'll continue to sip my gunpowder tea and finish writing my paper.

Ambition... Stupidity... or Love?

Well.
Starting Thursday, a friend and I are going to start training for a half marathon. We originally wanted to go for the full thing; but realized that was probably a bit too ambitious at this point - since neither of us are runners.

Anywho... we're trying to get some people to sponsor us. By "us" I mean a charity (which is yet to be determined). More on that later. If you're interested... let me know. If not... awesome (can you pray for us though?).

This is gonna kick my butt.
It'll be worth it.

-Matt

Off.

Saturday morning, I decided to do something I don't do enough. I turned everything off. Music. Cell Phone. Computer. "Stuff." In fact, I didn't turn my phone on again until this morning (with the exception of sending one text message). In regards to the TV - I did watch part of the Chargers game. It's my duty as a man to watch football.

And you know what?
It was awesome.
Seriously.

I read C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce, Rob Bell's Sex God, and started a book called Starving Jesus. All of which are awesome. I guess I like reading or something. Weird.

I spent time thinking. Meditating. Slowing. Stopping. Shutting my "life" off. Just leaving myself... and God. Making room, and time, for Him to speak.

Plus, the Chargers won.

Rock.

"Just follow your heart, and don't run away..."

I take it all back (the last blog).

My goals for '08:

Transparency.

Consistency.

The end.